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  • Writer's pictureSusan Lawson


Updated: May 13, 2020

Outside my window - it’s hard to see outside the window where I sit - the condensation creates a film that lingers into the morning. But I did step outside this morning before the sun came up :-)

Listening to - Joy FM Online. I rarely listen to music anymore, and I trained myself long ago to leave the television off during the day. The quiet is so needed in my mind. I am realizing that I have missed the music and the personalities of our local Christian radio station though. I will be more intentional about turning it on in the car and while I work. Also, I have started a list of podcasts that I really want to listen to so I am hoping to remember that as I drive around for errands.

Clothing myself in - it’s only 7:17 am and I am still in my pajamas, for now. I plan to go to the park today to see what vibe the walking trail is sending out today. I hope to resume my regular walks. Keeping house - laundry was started last night and will be finished as soon as I’m done with this post (hopefully). I did a quick clean of the refrigerator since I need to pick a few things up this morning. Our nest is emptying slowly but surely and our eating habits are changing as we age… We definitely need fewer things and what we do want is different than what it was just a year ago. There is a list of housework waiting to be done. I’m not sure what all will get accomplished today. People have asked me to help and I agreed to do so, some stuff will just have to wait.

Keeping it simple - after spending three weeks in a hotel, simplicity has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I came back to our home very thankful for it all, but realizing that we still (after over ten years of de-cluttering) have too much stuff. I am considering radical simplicity.

To be fit and healthy - mostly the same things, hoping to lose some weight, gain some strength and flexibility. Eating habits are changing, and accepting that I may need to spend time at the gym … for the rest of my life… but, I don’t want to and you can’t make me!!! Considering whether or not I am going to re-engage with MyFitnessPal (because as I wrote earlier - I don’t really want to be pals). Logging all that you eat, and staying inside the boundaries of macros… I am resistant. Pondering - how what I heard yesterday at church helped clarify what I had already been thinking the past few weeks. We often are guilty of living with “limited love”. Somehow this feels like an accurate description of what happened this past year when John and I simultaneously experienced a heavy burnout. Burnout happens, but looking back I realized that instead of doing what we needed to do to recover from it and get back to life, we withdrew more and more. Now there is an emptiness waiting to be filled back up. In our attempt to protect ourselves we in essence started “limiting love”. Rather than sharing ourselves with people we started holding back hoping to regain some stability and energy, never meaning to neglect others, but the reality is that we have. We want to change that, and that means remembering our first love (God) - and doing what we did at first (serving others with limitless love). A little liberty with scripture, but it seems fitting.

Watching - too many episodes of Outlander. To be honest I listen more than I watch though. I asked for suggestions from friends at a recent gathering and Outlander was on the list. Some would definitely judge it inappropriate, or just plain garbage. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, including me :-) The first season was extremely difficult to get through and I considered not watching any more - a lot of sexual content and strong theme of sexual abuse - but we continued and I am actually glad we did. The story is interesting to us and we love the characters. 

Reading - not nearly as much this week :-( I think that will change once I feel a bit more settled. Long trips often require nearly as much time to settle back into a good routine. I’m not just trying to return to a good routine, I’m trying to change and improve mine. Still working on The Blood Spell (fiction), but also started The Ministry of Ordinary Places. Seems that God always places good things in my path just when I need them most.

Loving the moments - when I remember that this life, this space is only a temporary home. Heaven awaits and it is beyond my imagination. The God who has loved me so well my whole life has promised eternity in his presence. How can this preview, however wonderful it is most of the time, even compare?

Words worth sharing - I started what I hope will be regular posts to Instagram. I am going to focus on the slogans I depend on to keep me on track with my recovery. I started with this - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Check out my Instagram or watch for future posts here...

Giving thanks for - every single day I wake up next to the man I love and the life we share. We are not promised tomorrow - we’re not even promised the remainder of this day. If I am breathing right now, then I am thankful for this moment.

Planning for the week ahead - trying to do more trusting and less planning. We’ll see how long that lasts - LOL. Seriously though - the calendar is already full and I have an idea what the menu is, so there’s that. 

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