Party's Over! The Pity Party that is...
I am sensing some new perspectives and having some thoughts that I'm pretty
convinced were planted by God.
Things around this blog are probably going to undergo a pretty significant change in attitude and focus. I've been trying to force something that hasn't seemed to be a good fit and wondering why I can't seem to produce good posts. As a Christian, a woman and a writer - I have just assumed that I should be writing with that very narrow focus. I've struggled continuously with the value or worth of anything I have written or thought to write here. I kept thinking surely this is what God has called me to do and I have prayed about it and written about it - waiting on a clear answer and direction to move forward. Continuing to get frustrated and impatient I have wondered if I have been completely mistaken about how God wants to use a gift I thought I'd been given. Maybe it's just vanity, maybe it's just what I want to do...
In the meantime, I have been working with a friend on a program of artistic recovery - The Artist’s Way - a book that was recommended to me years ago during a tumultuous period of my life. I look forward to continued progress in that program and in my recovery. I've been utterly convinced that I have an "artistic block" and that the reason I haven't made progress in my writing is because of the block. But I keep experiencing a recurring theme that makes me ponder other possibilities. I became aware months ago that I have spent more time and attention on the look and feel of my blog than I have on producing quality posts - the actual content. It's not that I think the content is less important but I always seem to get hung up on the actual template, colors, themes, etc. I've been discontent with it so far but in working to make it better I have slowly and steadily been teaching myself more and more about the nuts and bolts of blogging and web development. I've been making progress without really knowing it. I also have had difficulty discerning a real focus for the blog. Most of my favorite blogs also have a mix of many topics but the more serious writers encourage developing a niche of some sort. Well, I just haven't been able to find my niche because I simply can't seem to sacrifice any of the much-loved topics I want to write about. And then I think to myself, why does it really matter? I'm not trying to be one of the "big bloggers". That would actually require too much commitment on my part and I don't have time for that! I still have a house full of people who need my love and nurturing. They need to eat, too J … and that takes time and it's time I won't give to other things because it has an expiration date - an undetermined expiration but an expiration date nonetheless. So for now I will be content with the knowledge that my blog will remain simply a journal of things I love and experiences to share with any like-minded folks who happen along my blog home.
Things around this blog are probably going to undergo a pretty significant change in attitude and focus. I've been trying to force something that hasn't seemed to be a good fit and wondering why I can't seem to produce good posts. As a Christian, a woman and a writer - I have just assumed that I should be writing with that very narrow focus. I've struggled continuously with the value or worth of anything I have written or thought to write here. I kept thinking surely this is what God has called me to do and I have prayed about it and written about it - waiting on a clear answer and direction to move forward. Continuing to get frustrated and impatient I have wondered if I have been completely mistaken about how God wants to use a gift I thought I'd been given. Maybe it's just vanity, maybe it's just what I want to do...
In the meantime, I have been working with a friend on a program of artistic recovery - The Artist’s Way - a book that was recommended to me years ago during a tumultuous period of my life. I look forward to continued progress in that program and in my recovery. I've been utterly convinced that I have an "artistic block" and that the reason I haven't made progress in my writing is because of the block. But I keep experiencing a recurring theme that makes me ponder other possibilities. I became aware months ago that I have spent more time and attention on the look and feel of my blog than I have on producing quality posts - the actual content. It's not that I think the content is less important but I always seem to get hung up on the actual template, colors, themes, etc. I've been discontent with it so far but in working to make it better I have slowly and steadily been teaching myself more and more about the nuts and bolts of blogging and web development. I've been making progress without really knowing it. I also have had difficulty discerning a real focus for the blog. Most of my favorite blogs also have a mix of many topics but the more serious writers encourage developing a niche of some sort. Well, I just haven't been able to find my niche because I simply can't seem to sacrifice any of the much-loved topics I want to write about. And then I think to myself, why does it really matter? I'm not trying to be one of the "big bloggers". That would actually require too much commitment on my part and I don't have time for that! I still have a house full of people who need my love and nurturing. They need to eat, too J … and that takes time and it's time I won't give to other things because it has an expiration date - an undetermined expiration but an expiration date nonetheless. So for now I will be content with the knowledge that my blog will remain simply a journal of things I love and experiences to share with any like-minded folks who happen along my blog home.
So, although I had hoped that I would eventually pen wise and eloquent words
to share with other women in their faith journeys, I will simply allow God to
speak through my actions, my adventures and my stories - if He so chooses. For my part, I will use the things He has
given me passion for – writing, gardening, cooking, hospitality – to name a few
– to tend my creativity. And I will be intentional about it – I’ll
continue to work The Artist’s Way. I also
will be going deeper into A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman and Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. And
much to my delight, I discovered Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative RootsThrough Gardening by Fran Sorin and plan
to order it by the day’s end. I don’t
believe in coincidence so the awareness I had when I read that title just about
24 hours after my ah-ha! moment that my garden could be my creativity was no mystery. I believe that God reveals things to us only
as they are necessary for our growth and benefit. It was swift confirmation that, indeed, expression
of my creativity may well be found in the garden(s) I love so much.
That confirmation and the freeing of the notion that I must
do lofty things to do good things spurred the new, broader possibilities for my
blog. My back yard just got a whole lot
bigger!!
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