How Important Is It? — Learning to Let Go Without Giving Up

There are plenty of hills we could die on.

Plenty of things we could correct, clean up, control.

Plenty of moving parts, undone projects, and strong opinions just waiting to stir us up.

But sometimes the most radical act of peace is to pause—and ask:

How important is it?

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The Question That Grounds Me

This little question has become a trusted checkpoint for me.

It’s helped me unclench my fists at Walmart when I’m feeling rushed and irritated by crowds or long lines, convinced I need to hurry back to something more important (though I often can’t even name what that is).

It’s helped me shake off the guilt of projects left unfinished, meals not made, or plans that shifted because life had other ideas

It’s helped me stop mid-thought and reframe the need to fix, finish, or defend.

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What I’m Learning to Let Go Of

I’ve been walking through a season lately where I’ve had to ask this question again and again.

At home, one of my daughters gently pointed out a character trait in me that she sees and struggles with.

Old me might’ve jumped to defend.

The me who’s practicing growth and grace paused to ask:

“Is it true?”

If it is, I need to grow.

If it’s not, I don’t need to take offense.

Either way—I don’t need to spiral. I just need to listen.

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When the To-Do List Doesn’t Matter

Lately, I’ve been reminded how easy it is to slip back into old habits—the ones that whisper, “You’re not doing enough.”

We’ve been planning some projects at camp—good work, meaningful work—but there are a lot of moving parts. Schedules change. Weather shifts. People come and go.

And before I knew it, I was holding it all a little too tightly… as if everything depended on me.

That old tension crept in: Will it all get done? Will it be enough?

But then came the quiet, grace-filled question:

How important is it?

Some things matter deeply. But not everything. And certainly not all at once.

 

Grace Over Guilt

Sometimes, when I ask “How important is it?”
…the honest answer is: It really is.

Some things do matter deeply.
Some things are worth protecting, pursuing, or staying up late to finish.
Some things are sacred, even when they’re small.

But not everything.
And certainly not at the expense of peace, presence, or the people right in front of us.

Asking the question doesn’t mean we stop caring.
It means we start caring better—with intention instead of urgency, with grace instead of guilt.

Here’s what I’m learning:

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.
You don’t have to finish every project to be worthy of rest.
You don’t have to prove anything to be deeply, dearly loved.

The to-do list will wait—or not.
The house will get cleaned—or not.
The conversation might continue—or quietly resolve on its own.

And that’s okay.

Because what matters most will still matter—even if you rest first.

How important is it?

Ask it often.

Let it lead you to more peace than perfection.

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✨ Gentle Invitation

Is there something you’ve been holding too tightly? What might change if you asked, “How important is it?” I'd love to hear in the comments.