Loving our Homes
As I contemplate changes in my volunteer life, I realize I have not been showing my home the love it deserves. I'm not talking about my house - I'm talking about my home.
I get very frustrated when the conversation in my head turns to an argument about how much other people are able to accomplish while, apparently, still managing their homes well. The wiser side of my mind reminds me that it really doesn't matter how much someone else is able to do or not do. This is my life, my blessings, my burdens, my path that the Lord has set me on. Am I doing what He is asking of me? Am I really doing what blesses my family? Do I spend the time honoring, cherishing and loving my family? The answer, very sadly, is no, I do not spend as much time doing these things as I could and definitely not as often as I SHOULD.
When I start to wonder, what would I do with the time I would have available if I weren't doing whatever it is that I am doing? Then I remember how many times Rachel has asked me to play a game with her or go on a walk. I could sit and read way more than we do now, cuddled up and not in a rush to get to that thing I have to get done.
I wander through the house and see the walls that still yearn for a good coat of paint and windows that need curtains and a garden that has been long neglected. I remember the Sunflower House that I so wanted to plant and nurture alongside Rachel this year and kick myself for not making the time. As I read the Hummingbird Book to Rachel I remember the three bird feeders that have sat empty all summer long, I am sad for all the moments I have given away that belonged to her and the others who are now growing old enough to not ask as often as they once did - mom, will you play with us?
I see with new eyes the fully stocked kitchen and roomy counters that were intended for thoughtful, delicious meals that are delightful to the senses that I once cooked and no longer believe I am capable of creating.
I worried I might get bored if I didn't have all those 'things' to do. I am realizing, oh so intensely, that I will not get bored at all. I will get glad, I will find peace and contentment because I will finally be doing what it is that I am suppose to be doing - loving my home and the precious, precious people that live there.
I get very frustrated when the conversation in my head turns to an argument about how much other people are able to accomplish while, apparently, still managing their homes well. The wiser side of my mind reminds me that it really doesn't matter how much someone else is able to do or not do. This is my life, my blessings, my burdens, my path that the Lord has set me on. Am I doing what He is asking of me? Am I really doing what blesses my family? Do I spend the time honoring, cherishing and loving my family? The answer, very sadly, is no, I do not spend as much time doing these things as I could and definitely not as often as I SHOULD.
When I start to wonder, what would I do with the time I would have available if I weren't doing whatever it is that I am doing? Then I remember how many times Rachel has asked me to play a game with her or go on a walk. I could sit and read way more than we do now, cuddled up and not in a rush to get to that thing I have to get done.
I wander through the house and see the walls that still yearn for a good coat of paint and windows that need curtains and a garden that has been long neglected. I remember the Sunflower House that I so wanted to plant and nurture alongside Rachel this year and kick myself for not making the time. As I read the Hummingbird Book to Rachel I remember the three bird feeders that have sat empty all summer long, I am sad for all the moments I have given away that belonged to her and the others who are now growing old enough to not ask as often as they once did - mom, will you play with us?
I see with new eyes the fully stocked kitchen and roomy counters that were intended for thoughtful, delicious meals that are delightful to the senses that I once cooked and no longer believe I am capable of creating.
I worried I might get bored if I didn't have all those 'things' to do. I am realizing, oh so intensely, that I will not get bored at all. I will get glad, I will find peace and contentment because I will finally be doing what it is that I am suppose to be doing - loving my home and the precious, precious people that live there.
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