I'm done...
...comparing and fretting that is. Wondering why I keep finding myself back here trying to pull words together that make sense and will touch someone where they need it. It's Sunday morning, time change happened in the middle of the night and I'm sitting at the table in my still quiet home because everyone is still sleeping. Feeling a little guilty that we didn't go to mass this morning but not so guilty as to allow it to spoil my day. We are tired and we need the rest.
I added a new blog to the blogroll just now. The author is this incredibly funny and for all that I can see very real woman who writes the way I think I want to write. But I think that so many times when I go to another blog and read and then the comparing starts and my self-confidence just goes down the toilet - you might have even heard it flush a few times. Well, something just struck me pretty clearly after I added her link - I have to stop comparing and even more I have to stop wondering and fretting why it is that I always feel so drawn here. Perhaps I'll never do the things I have imagined in my limited view but that really doesn't matter. What matters is that the God who created me and loves me placed this desire smack dab in the middle of my soul and heart and mind and so I really have no reason to question. What I really should be doing is trusting and moving; considering it all what I claim it to be on my description - a journey and a mystery. I don't want to limit what God can do with and through me by my own smallness.
There are so many things that I really do want to write and I don't - can't really - because I kind of put myself and my family out there - where ever out there is and to be honest when I check the stats the origins of some of the readers causes me great concern. The internet can be used for so much good but also for so much evil. In my naivete it is easy to think that only those my words are directed at are reading them and taking from them whatever benefit they can glean from them but the truth is there are others that could use the information for much harm and cruelty. So, I'm trying to learn and discern what I can safely share here and what I really need to keep more anonymous in nature. Oh the lessons to be learned!
Photos are a whole other concern. I have friends whose blogs I loved reading and they have chosen not to have a blog anymore or to keep them strictly for personal use and private even from friends and I completely understand that but I sorely miss their wit and wisdom. And there are those who have other irons in the fire and so don't post regularly. But I know some of what they're up to and I can't wait for it to be unveiled!
So, for today at least, I'm done comparing and trying to figure out the "why" of the desire in my heart and mind to put fingers to keyboard and hit the "publish" button and why checking the stats gives me a little smile when I see that a few more have come to read. What I really want to do is get out of the way and let God have His way with me and use me for His good and holy purpose. Hope I can keep that perspective always!
Grace and Peace!
Susan
I added a new blog to the blogroll just now. The author is this incredibly funny and for all that I can see very real woman who writes the way I think I want to write. But I think that so many times when I go to another blog and read and then the comparing starts and my self-confidence just goes down the toilet - you might have even heard it flush a few times. Well, something just struck me pretty clearly after I added her link - I have to stop comparing and even more I have to stop wondering and fretting why it is that I always feel so drawn here. Perhaps I'll never do the things I have imagined in my limited view but that really doesn't matter. What matters is that the God who created me and loves me placed this desire smack dab in the middle of my soul and heart and mind and so I really have no reason to question. What I really should be doing is trusting and moving; considering it all what I claim it to be on my description - a journey and a mystery. I don't want to limit what God can do with and through me by my own smallness.
There are so many things that I really do want to write and I don't - can't really - because I kind of put myself and my family out there - where ever out there is and to be honest when I check the stats the origins of some of the readers causes me great concern. The internet can be used for so much good but also for so much evil. In my naivete it is easy to think that only those my words are directed at are reading them and taking from them whatever benefit they can glean from them but the truth is there are others that could use the information for much harm and cruelty. So, I'm trying to learn and discern what I can safely share here and what I really need to keep more anonymous in nature. Oh the lessons to be learned!
Photos are a whole other concern. I have friends whose blogs I loved reading and they have chosen not to have a blog anymore or to keep them strictly for personal use and private even from friends and I completely understand that but I sorely miss their wit and wisdom. And there are those who have other irons in the fire and so don't post regularly. But I know some of what they're up to and I can't wait for it to be unveiled!
So, for today at least, I'm done comparing and trying to figure out the "why" of the desire in my heart and mind to put fingers to keyboard and hit the "publish" button and why checking the stats gives me a little smile when I see that a few more have come to read. What I really want to do is get out of the way and let God have His way with me and use me for His good and holy purpose. Hope I can keep that perspective always!
Grace and Peace!
Susan
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