It Matters and It's a Big Deal
Preparing for rain...
May I be honest...
These were the thoughts I wanted to hang onto last night for a post I thought I'd write today. But then I came across this and that changed just a little. Although, I think they all fit together.
My initial thoughts were once again a post trying to explain just why it is I am here writing when I feel completely uninspired and I have no followers and zero traffic (if you don't count the undesirable traffic listed in the stats). I just decided I am preparing for rain.
You've probably heard that before and know what I'm talking about. It's a short story a man shares with the coach in the movie Facing the Giants. Being here, attending Allume, reading blog after blog after blog and still moving down rabbit trails of even more blogs; perpetually having thoughts running through my head about posts I could write, might write; hoping and praying that I will be inspired by God’s whisper – it’s all just preparation for the rain. I’ve taken my blog off line several times thinking I must be crazy for thinking that I could possibly have anything important enough to share on a public space and then decided it doesn’t really matter because it doesn’t have to be important and put it back online. Maybe it is all for naught but I just can’t worry about it anymore. So that was my preparing for rain post.
Then I thought I just have to say what is in my heart about Allume. May I be honest? I want to encourage the new ladies attending this year to stop worrying so much about all the details. I want to tell them what a wonderful, delightful surprise they are in for and that they should feel free to simply look forward to the gift of being there. I had never heard of Allume until one day last year a friend came by my house with her daughter to pick up some bedroom furniture she was taking off my hands. As we were finishing loading it up we were discussing some upcoming events and she mentioned that something had been changed because so many people who normally attend are going to be at “that blogging conference”. What? A blogging conference? They have conferences for bloggers? Seriously? Tell me more! She remembered the name only vaguely and as soon as she drove away I went directly inside, sat down at the computer and looked it up. That evening I spoke to my husband and he immediately gave his go ahead and said he’d travel with me. I bought my ticket (late in the game I might add!), booked the hotel and put it all on the calendar. I didn’t know a single person who was planning to go or had even heard of it. I didn’t care. I had such a powerful voice telling me to go that I knew it would be okay. So, off we went. I had no idea what I was about to encounter. I had read that it’s not so much about the craft as it is about being with other women who were in love with Jesus. It is true. I did learn a lot but the real gift was being with so many beautiful, excited, genuine women who wanted to do something for their God. They want to be tools for the Kingdom and they pour their hearts and souls into doing just that. Many others had no idea why they were there but had the same tug on their hearts to attend for whatever reason. Many didn’t even have blogs and some had just started their first!
Every single detail was beautifully thought out. The atmosphere, the speakers, sponsors, meals, service, the gift bags – oh the gift bags!!! I can’t even include all the things that made this conference more like a retreat for me than a conference. I knew the first day I would be buying my ticket as soon as they went on sale for the following year.
My suggestion to prepare for Allume? Wear comfortable clothes – old or new it doesn’t matter. Give all your fear to God and trust that He is going to bring people across your path to love on you whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert and He will inspire you – sooner or later – in His time. And let your hair down!! Let others see the real you – all your gifts and all your failings. Allow yourself to be accepted and be ready to accept others with open arms and a genuine big smile.
And as for the title of this post - It’s a big deal? It’s a reallybig deal. I have never felt quite so compelled to reach out and be part of something as I am this because it describes what I’ve been struggling with for too long and too deeply. I love to do a lot of things and I like to write about a lot of topics but I have struggled finding my voice because this has been weighing me down like six feet of dirt covering me in a slow spiritual death. I’ve been desperately digging my way out and grasping for air and finding it very lonely on the surface. Until I find healing in this area I can only manage surface level friendships because it’s just too hard to break those barriers and go deeper. And I want deeper. I’m wary of deeper but I long for it; deeper connection, deeper friendship, deeper love.
Perhaps I have heard a whisper of inspiration today. I know I have been amazed and moved discovering so many who are sharing some of the same struggle I am and learning that they too want desperately to speak up about it and be instruments of change.
May I be honest...
These were the thoughts I wanted to hang onto last night for a post I thought I'd write today. But then I came across this and that changed just a little. Although, I think they all fit together.
My initial thoughts were once again a post trying to explain just why it is I am here writing when I feel completely uninspired and I have no followers and zero traffic (if you don't count the undesirable traffic listed in the stats). I just decided I am preparing for rain.
You've probably heard that before and know what I'm talking about. It's a short story a man shares with the coach in the movie Facing the Giants. Being here, attending Allume, reading blog after blog after blog and still moving down rabbit trails of even more blogs; perpetually having thoughts running through my head about posts I could write, might write; hoping and praying that I will be inspired by God’s whisper – it’s all just preparation for the rain. I’ve taken my blog off line several times thinking I must be crazy for thinking that I could possibly have anything important enough to share on a public space and then decided it doesn’t really matter because it doesn’t have to be important and put it back online. Maybe it is all for naught but I just can’t worry about it anymore. So that was my preparing for rain post.
Then I thought I just have to say what is in my heart about Allume. May I be honest? I want to encourage the new ladies attending this year to stop worrying so much about all the details. I want to tell them what a wonderful, delightful surprise they are in for and that they should feel free to simply look forward to the gift of being there. I had never heard of Allume until one day last year a friend came by my house with her daughter to pick up some bedroom furniture she was taking off my hands. As we were finishing loading it up we were discussing some upcoming events and she mentioned that something had been changed because so many people who normally attend are going to be at “that blogging conference”. What? A blogging conference? They have conferences for bloggers? Seriously? Tell me more! She remembered the name only vaguely and as soon as she drove away I went directly inside, sat down at the computer and looked it up. That evening I spoke to my husband and he immediately gave his go ahead and said he’d travel with me. I bought my ticket (late in the game I might add!), booked the hotel and put it all on the calendar. I didn’t know a single person who was planning to go or had even heard of it. I didn’t care. I had such a powerful voice telling me to go that I knew it would be okay. So, off we went. I had no idea what I was about to encounter. I had read that it’s not so much about the craft as it is about being with other women who were in love with Jesus. It is true. I did learn a lot but the real gift was being with so many beautiful, excited, genuine women who wanted to do something for their God. They want to be tools for the Kingdom and they pour their hearts and souls into doing just that. Many others had no idea why they were there but had the same tug on their hearts to attend for whatever reason. Many didn’t even have blogs and some had just started their first!
Every single detail was beautifully thought out. The atmosphere, the speakers, sponsors, meals, service, the gift bags – oh the gift bags!!! I can’t even include all the things that made this conference more like a retreat for me than a conference. I knew the first day I would be buying my ticket as soon as they went on sale for the following year.
My suggestion to prepare for Allume? Wear comfortable clothes – old or new it doesn’t matter. Give all your fear to God and trust that He is going to bring people across your path to love on you whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert and He will inspire you – sooner or later – in His time. And let your hair down!! Let others see the real you – all your gifts and all your failings. Allow yourself to be accepted and be ready to accept others with open arms and a genuine big smile.
And as for the title of this post - It’s a big deal? It’s a reallybig deal. I have never felt quite so compelled to reach out and be part of something as I am this because it describes what I’ve been struggling with for too long and too deeply. I love to do a lot of things and I like to write about a lot of topics but I have struggled finding my voice because this has been weighing me down like six feet of dirt covering me in a slow spiritual death. I’ve been desperately digging my way out and grasping for air and finding it very lonely on the surface. Until I find healing in this area I can only manage surface level friendships because it’s just too hard to break those barriers and go deeper. And I want deeper. I’m wary of deeper but I long for it; deeper connection, deeper friendship, deeper love.
Perhaps I have heard a whisper of inspiration today. I know I have been amazed and moved discovering so many who are sharing some of the same struggle I am and learning that they too want desperately to speak up about it and be instruments of change.
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