A Year Older, But Any Wiser?
Thanksgiving came later this year. It's Sunday and my Thanksgiving company left around noon. It's always a bitter sweet - I love the time spent with them and hate to see them go. I am my mother's daughter, however, and we both recognize certain character traits we share - like knowing it's time to go home - we miss our own environment and our own groove. When I visit I am always ready to head home no matter how much I love the company and enjoy the time spent with them and I can see that in her too. Creatures of habit we are.
But now it's time to get back to real life, the daily grind but now the daily grind includes preparations for Christmas. As I feel myself sinking a bit into the anxiety of "getting it all done" and getting it all done with a cheerful attitude and the right perspective I look back on my posts from a year ago and wonder if I've made any improvements at all. It seems I have not. The concerns on my heart and my mind are the same and the way I must approach them will be too. Doing the next right thing, no more and no less, keeping people before things and above all continuing my daily surrender to the God to holds me and sustains me will be my strength and my hope.
So just in case I come back here next year for the same reason let me just speak to the me a year from now - yes, I am overwhelmed by too much to do and too little time to do it. Yes, I am still wishful about a house with the space that will "fit" us and the family God continues to build and bless us with. Yes, I still have grand ideas of things I would love to include in our Advent and Christmas season and gift ideas I want to share with friends and neighbors. Yes, there is still clutter and no the young adults in the house still do not take their responsibilities for household work seriously (will they ever?). Yes, there is a certain child that I am more deeply concerned about today than the others and, yes, the question of whether or not homeschooling is the right choice for her is weighing on me heavily. She is lonely, I am lonely and yet I still resist the commitment of time and effort to volunteer to provide more opportunities for her (simply because I can barely breathe now with the demands on my time and energy).
So with these things lingering on my mind I will stop. Perhaps it would be good to try to return here more often throughout the month(s) to come to record for the future me what it was like this year and serve as a reminder of the good things and those I could learn to do a little better.
Signing off as "murky me"
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