Erosion of the soul

Erosion of the soul; spiritual, physical, and emotional erosion.

Well that figures :-) As I start to do a little research on “erosion of the soul” I discover that I am not the first to see this as a metaphor for our faith. Nothing is new under the sun, don’t we often hear that? I didn’t read any of the many links that appeared when I looked it up; I doubt that I need to. It really is pretty evident to anyone interested in seeing it.

But let me add my voice, because, honestly, I am learning recently that although something has been present and obvious for a long time does not guarantee that I’ve taken notice of it. Our little town, for example, and all the neighborhoods that I have never, not once, explored or even noticed. Now that it has become relevant to me (we are interested in finding a new home and our eyes are opening to a broader range of possibilities), I am noticing. In fact, I’m seeking out that which I otherwise would not, simply because I’m curious. And so maybe that's true for anyone who might come across this and relate to it.

We have been hearing a series at our church called Speak of the Devil - The Destroyer, The Deceiver, The Accuser, and Defense: What to Wear to Battle (Armor of God). It has made me think about some things.

We’ve been struggling through some challenging times in our household. Nothing terrible or tragic, just challenging. We have one teenage daughter who still lives at home, and is just getting ready for her senior year. We’ve decided to do something very unique for that senior year and there are some things I’d like to be doing in preparation for it. This was also supposed to be a summer of fun for the two of us - lots of day dates, hiking, working out together - basically clinging to the last bits of her childhood with all the gusto possible. But then, we have our adult daughter and her 4 month old baby boy living with us while her sweet husband is away at basic training and tech school for his newly committed time in the Air National Guard. This is all good, but no less challenging. The stress levels are definitely elevated in our home and there is less quiet time for me and less down time for my husband and me and a couple. Less time for the ‘summer of fun’ also, which results in a certain degree of frustration and disappointment.

Add to that the fact that we have been utterly blessed with a growing family by way of grandchildren, and our physical space is starting to burst at the seams whenever we gather together all at once (or even a good fraction of the total all at once LOL). We have been ruminating about a new space - new house, different house, renovations to this house - they were/are all possibilities. Renovations got a pretty hefty smack down last week though. We had come to the conclusion that in order to financially prepare well for John to step away from the work force (aka retire) ten years or so from now, we should probably stay put since our mortgage will be paid in full in seven years! - and just do some comprehensive renovations, gradually and over time, to claim and create more space for gathering, and update some key elements of the house. The bid we received back was so ridiculously expensive (and didn’t even complete the target project entirely) we just laughed hysterically until the reality sunk in and then I cried, a lot. Not the hubs though, he took it in stride and declared he’d just do the damn thing himself.  NO!!! My crying stopped immediately in order to assure him that I’d be okay waiting to see what it is that God really has in mind for us. Don’t even want to approach that topic in the post, could get pretty sore :-0

So now we’re back to the drawing board in regards to our home space. I’m okay with that. It’s usually just takes me venting some of the initial built up steam and then I just carry on. I do trust God and know his plan is always better.  I just chose to throw a small, grown-up temper tantrum. Done.

Being back to the drawing board has its own challenges though. Our space is still bursting at the seams, and I feel like we’re wasting precious time in our gathering opportunities. Yes, we absolutely can still gather in the current space as my kids so strongly reminded me, but my stress levels increase exponentially when the house is that crowded and there is that much noise. And I want that crowd and I want that noise, I just want to be able to cope with it better. Kind of like my cup overflows, and I’m asking for a bigger cup so I don't lose the blessings!  I am very grateful and aware of the abundance of the blessings and never want to take them for granted. I want to use wisely the gifts I’ve been given.

So what does any of this have to do with erosion? I’ve been wondering why I have felt like part of my peace has been missing. It really doesn’t take much for me to nail it; I have not been taking my daily walks, I have not been waking up early enough for the hour or two that I normally enjoy in the quiet solitude of the early morning, and I have found myself spread very thin between the varying needs of the people I love. The very things that were ‘planted’ to prevent the erosion of my faith have been lacking. These activities, seemingly very small and unimportant, are my erosion prevention practices.

If I am “like the tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit” (Jeremiah 17:8) then these small challenges are like the potential erosion that can take place even as the water of blessing flows and sustains the tree. Constant, gradual, almost imperceptible attrition until enough pressure and friction has occurred to wash away the fertile soil and expose the roots to damage. Unlike the imminent danger of a flood that demands immediate action to prevent irreversible damage, erosion often goes completely unnoticed, and is therefore never dealt with properly until the damage to the area becomes apparent. Our ordinary daily lives, filled with what my husband and I affectionately refer to as “ankle-biters” can quickly become the source of erosion if we have not managed the soil well.  And the devil wants nothing more than help that happen when he whispers his lies and feeds our fear. There are things that can be done to prevent the damage from erosion - both in our natural world and in our spiritual lives. In our natural world, the simplest and one of the most effective ways is to surround the tree with other plants that establish root systems, which stabilizes soil and prevents erosion. In our spiritual lives, we surround ourselves with other people who also have established root systems and we develop habits that help our own roots grow deeper and stronger, and maintain the soil onto which the seeds of faith and trust are spread.

Take notice of the things that are causing friction in your life. If you lived on the bank of a river and there was a flood headed your way, you would no doubt attempt to gather and spare anything of great value to you. Consider erosion a small flood that you have time and ability to protect your home and family from, if you stay alert to it at all times. If we become complacent and think, oh I have time and there are more important things today, and we forget to put in place the very things that will protect our homes, and we fall into the habit of doing that more often than not, then we allow the flood to over take us.  We don’t have to let this happen.

Taking care of ourselves, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is a daily need. The things that work for me are my quiet time in the morning spent in prayer, meditation, reading scripture regularly, and solitary walks in the wooded area near our home. These things help me in all aspects of my health.

 We should each find the things that work for us, and then we should do them, unapologetically! Because in the end, when we take care of ourselves well, we are able to take care of others well.

Wishing you peace,

Susan