Vacation ramblings

What is it about taking the time while on vacation to write that makes me feel a wee-bit guilty?  Nearly everyone else is still sleeping with the exception of the two already out on the beach.   Hasn't my motto for this vacation been let others enjoy their vacation the way that they enjoy - the way they will feel they have experienced a break from the busy-ness and chaos of life as we know it at home?  Then I refuse to feel guilty about taking the quiet of the morning to add a few thoughts here.

I brought books with me to read while lounging on the beach and I was actually able to read much of one of them while traveling.  Reading while riding in a car is something I have never been able to handle in the past with the motion sickness that ensues.  But lately I have been able to manage it and I'm very happy about that.  I always feel that wasting that much time when there are so many good books to enjoy is such a sad thing.  Anyway, I finished (and that is a big thing all by itself!!) No More Perfect Moms by Jill Savage.  Why the big thing you might ask?  I usually start a book and even though I really enjoy it and gain much from it I find myself setting it aside to go do the myriad of other tasks that need to be done and never getting back to that particular book.  I usually have moved on to yet another topic in my all-too-busy mind (read that AAADD - age activated attention deficit disorder) and find another book to start - and set aside when distracted or called again to do the things I must do...  I have shelves and stacks of book that I would love to finish to the very last page and some day I may do just that.  But for now, this one caught my attention enough and I gave myself permission to do a lot of reading and a lot of ignoring other things (not people) that I was able to finish it to the very last page.  I'm glad I did.  The author has many other titles also and I will be moving on to My Heart's at Home or Real Moms, Real Jesus next. The message of this book was no surprise to me - it's what I've been trying to say for a few years now.  My eyes were opened when I started the recovery process.  There is so much of the same encouragement and honesty in the program that I recognized the message and loved that it was directed at every mom not just those in recovery.  Folks in recovery programs often say that it's not just those suffering from addictions or living with those suffering from addictions that need the program!  The stuff in the 12 steps really are biblical principles put into words that all people can relate to if they are honest with themselves.  That's where my heart really has been when it comes to writing.  I've tried to define what my purpose is in putting fingers to keyboard and I've come up with all sorts of thoughts and ideas but the bottom line is really that I have grown and gained so much from the principles I learned and took to heart in the program that I want to pass it on.  It is twelve steps to intentional living the way the bible asks us to live.  Twelve steps to putting God first, accepting we don't have control over anyone but ourselves, learning to look at ourselves and be honest about who we are and what we do - the good, the bad and the ugly.  Learning how to accept others for who they are and not trying to change them or control them and even more - not to have unreasonable expectations of people, ourselves or reality.  Intentional ways to let go of anger, resentment, guilt, bitterness, shame and how to grab on to and practice forgiveness, kindness, compassion, acceptance and how to really LOVE.  Intentional ways to understand that love is a choice not a feeling.  We can always choose to love - always.  Sometimes it's harder than others - sometimes it's impossible to choose love unless we have the grace that God provides when we accept it. 

I for one want to be a woman who chooses to encourage other women to "get real" and I mean it.  I know I can't just say that once and have it be easy to follow through every day for the rest of my life.  I have to be intentional and I need tools to get the job done.  My tool box and turned into a tool shed and I keep my eye out for new tools to add to the collection.   This book is the newest addition.  I'll be checking out Heartsathome.orghttp://www.heartsathome.org/